This is an advice from the late Mr. Raymund Briones, my Critical Thinking Prof in DLSU, who has influenced me in so many ways, to my very good friend, Julie. Sir, I guess this advice is applicable to my situation now as well. Thanks for teaching us wonderful lessons in life, that we wouldnt have learned, if you weren't our Crithin Prof. LR27 misses you sir!

( this is taken from Julie's blog, www.nobiatch.blogspot.com thanks juls! )

From:Raymund
Date:localDateTimewithTimezone("October 25, 2004 4:49 PM","timetag1");Tuesday, October 26, 2004 7:49:00 AM
Subject:Re: If you care for me..read this.

Message:hi julie,i read what you wrote in the bulletin board and you might be wondering why a critical thinking professor would respond to your thoughts. i thought it might help if i tell you that i know how you feel. it is ok to feel the way you are feeling right now. the feeling of losing or about to lose someone you truly love is very close to the feeling of death. you're right, saying "i love you" all the time doesn't lead to "wearing out"! it is when you don't hear it anymore from the one you love that you get the feeling that his/her love to you must have worn out! the most difficult experience is when you actually hear it from the one you love that he/she doesn't love you anymore and that there's someone else that he/she loves. i'm writing this not to make you feel good that there's someone else who went through what you're going through. i'm writing this to tell you that it is natural to feel that way. but i can also tell you that time shall heal all wounds. when the one i love told me that she doesn't love me anymore and that she has fallen in love with somebody else, i thought it was the end of the world! i couldn't sleep and i couldn't eat and to think that i'm a very rational person. in 3 months i lost 30 pounds. i've regained half of it lately (he-he-he). what really helped me is first to accept that fact that indeed as far as she is concerned she doesn't love me anymore. i actually have two choices: to keep on loving her or to stop loving her altogether! i initially tried the first one, but it came to the point that i looked so pathetic! i woke up to the realization that i'm making myself look so stupid. then i asked myself, why do i keep on loving someone who told me that she doesn't love me anymore. would losing her mean that i also would lose myself? that was my realization! i realized that for a long time i didn't think of myself. for a long time she was the center of my being. for a long time she was the meaning of my existence. it was a great realization that as far as the meaning of my life is concerned, as far as my happiness is concerned, it can only come from me. i cannot depend on other people. it was at that moment when i took the second option. to stop loving her in a special way. of course i still care for her. of course she still means a lot to me. but i cannot love her anymore the way i loved her before. we can be friends, but that's it. i have to move on. it is only after this that i got to realize that when a door is closed, windows open. you take care julie. i've only know you for a term and only as a student, but your message revealed so much of yourself. that's the reason why i responded. you are a very good human being. talagang swerte ang mamahalin mo. in the end, your boyfriend will realize that it was his loss and not yours. (btw, that's what happened to me. she realized that it was her loss. now she wants us to try again, but unfortunately i have moved on. i'm happy where i am right now. there are still a lot of complications and things could still be better, but i guess and i hope things will still fall into their proper places.)sir raymund