Just Wanna Let It Out

People have hurt me so many times in the past. I have had a lot of negative feelings towards persons, and sad to say, one of them is a very important person I owe my life to. I was, and still am, consumed by this matter and somehow, it makes me insecure.

Two different people, both with strong personalities and conflicting beliefs. I must admit, I have my own beliefs, and may be hard to understand at times, just as she is. Is there any possibility that one day we would get along? I STILL hope so.

Its sad that she should be the person closest to my heart, but seems so far. Its sad that to think that no matter how I try to reach out to her, to make her feel that deep in my heart, she is loved, there is still this gap between us that just cannot be bridged. What makes it more frustrating is not having her to pick me up when I fall, or even just to listen to what I have to say. We have worked on this so many times before, but I guess the root of all these is too deep to be solved.

There are some things you just can't change, therefore, you just have to accept. I can't help but wonder, is this one of those things? I hope not. Bit by bit, I try to let go of the negative feelings I have towards her. I have taught myself to start walking away, but i must admit, there's still this tinny winny part deep in my heart that wishes to be followed.

Maybe someday I will learn to accept it as it is. Or, maybe someday, things will be better. Impossible. But then again, nothing is. I really do not know.

I take refuge knowing the fact that there are still people who love me for who I am, care about me, and give importance to my existence, people who have faith in me.